A lot of people view the turmoil and conflict in the world so broadly,  we don’t often consider one simple and obvious fact: conflict in the world starts off in our homes and families.  Strange as it is, our closest relationships can be the most trusting, and the most argumentative in our lives.

Letting conflicts fester at home makes  the whole family more stressful and creates an environment at home full of avoidance and coercion, or constant criticism  and defensiveness. Family members will develop patterns of engaging with conflict and bring these attitudes into interactions with everyone they meet, rippling out to create even more conflict in the world around them. These basic dynamics shape how a person deals with conflicts for the rest of their lives. Make an investment in reducing conflict in the world by first changing the patterns within your own family .

Here are some tips on how you can practice better conflict resolution at home in order to do your part in reducing the conflict in the world:

Tip number one is to give yourself some space and time to calm down. Trying to engage with a difficult discussion during an emotional upheaval with your feelings flaring can backfire on you very quickly. Give yourself a break to regain an open, clear mind. It may take several minutes, or several hours, before you can initiate the conflict resolution process.

Once you’ve felt like you can talk logically about  the issues that are bothering you, bring up the conversation proactively and as soon as possible.  Talk about yourself and what you need and want, not what you think the other person should do differently. People  are much more open to contributing to your well-being if they aren’t  being attacked and judged.

Second tip for conflict resolution at home is to listen. Whenever there is conflict, whether its an argument with your son or daughter or a fight between you and your spouse, invest time to listen and be aware of the other person’s feelings and how he/she views the subject of conflict. Enable the other person the chance to voice his/her thoughts without any interruptions.

In other words, give and take communication is key to conflict resolution with everyone in the home, as it enables you to understand the issue a lot better and will earn you the chance to explain and speak your mind as well.

Third tip to reduce conflict in the world through conflict resolution at home is to attack the problem instead of the person you are quarreling with. Avoid name calling and personal attacks on the person.  This not only impedes you from solving the issue, but can add more problems on top of the troubling situation you already have. Such actions will interfere with the ability of either party to co-operate and communicate effectively to resolve the conflict at hand.